February 2024| Space to Grow

Feedback is not an easy thing to ask for, especially if we are asking from a genuine place, with sincere desire to grow, rather than validate or justify a position. I recently asked for feedback from a mentor/coach from my support system that I had worked with in the recent past. It took courage to show up, but I was reminded after our time together, just how beautiful it is, to show our vulnerability and honesty. I think for some people, in some moments, the truth is too painful… I know at times it has been for me.  In those moments, we can have empathy and compassion, we can hold our own hearts or their hearts in our hands, with a gentle reminder that “sometimes it is hard to face the truth, but the truth is what sets us free.”

I have made a choice in my life to try my absolute best not to hide from the truth, whatever it may be. It can be a step-by-step process, an unraveling of awareness, to even discover what exactly the truth is, and then it’s another choice entirely to sincerely share. Do I share everything? Of course not. We also need to discern what feels appropriate and safe in a given moment, and what the other person has the capacity to hear and understand. However, we have to begin inside….honesty with ourselves, means honesty with others, and this allows our relationships to travel beneath a surface level.

For deep, intimate relationship, whether it be family, friends or romantic partner, there is nothing more important than sincerity, in my opinion—you can have all the love in the world but it won’t sustain without this foundation. This foundation can include respect, affection and devotion, expressed through actions—like accountability, being congruent with words and actions, repairing if we have made a mistake, coming clean about the past, expressing appreciation, and  communicating the positive and meaningful impact of someone in your life.

Sometimes expressing our rich sentiments and emotions can move, touch or inspire another. Rather than constant expectations of receiving what if we actively gave this to others? Going first is an honor. And believe me, it is SUCH a gift when we do receive it, when someone else takes that first step, but even more meaningful when it comes without prompting or expectation.

I’ve been taking an online course around thriving in relationships and communication and it has really helped me deepen my understanding of appreciation, empathy, and communication and how we can meet the needs of others and ourselves at the same time. Empathy isn’t necessarily what we say, it is more a quality of presence. Empathy can be spoken or be silent, and in my opinion and experience is often an energy that comes through the eyes. Without sustained eye contact it feels more difficult for me to give or receive empathy. Empathy is commonly misunderstood as sympathy, fixing, or consoling. When we are truly empathizing, we can connect deeply with another person, we can “see” them and listen, even if we disagree with the person’s perspective. It allows us to show our deep care for the other person without completely taking on their struggles as our own. We can be fully WITH someone without being full OF someone. One of the most powerful quotes about empathy that I ever heard is, 

"I never met anyone who, once they got all of the empathy they needed, still wanted revenge or an apology." - Marshall Rosenberg 

It is also commonly said in the nonviolent communication model that “empathy heals and honesty brings growth."

Leading a retreat in Costa Rica recently, I was moved by what we all shared together, and how deeply we all need space and time to grow.  Simply being surrounded by such natural beauty and kind open hearted people gave us a backdrop to appreciate life, and connection with each other. Great nature made it known that it was ALL there supporting and loving us, holding us in its embrace. The wind, the rain, the animals, the birds, the flowers, the sounds of the rainforest would all speak to us in obvious ways, guiding us, befriending us, encouraging us…everyone noticed this magic being displayed inside and out. 

It’s essential to find time to know ourselves in a deeper way, to feel our interwoven and inextricable connection to Great Nature, to understand what’s important in life, and honor our needs and values so we can be truly effective in making a positive impact for ourselves and the world. We all want to contribute in some way, but if our tank is depleted or empty we won’t get very far. Taking time for self care practices, cooking and eating well, reflection, learning, building community through friendship and support is so very vital for our well being, health, lasting contentment, and a purposeful life. I believe it is the true meaning of how to love oneself.

I look forward to connecting soon ❤️

Love for the journey,
Anisha 

January 2024 | With True Confidence

Some people mistake confidence for an expectation of success… however I believe that a truly confident person is OK with failure. A truly confident person can always look for the answers within themselves when things aren’t going smoothly. A truly confident person has integrity, and integrity breeds self respect. If we don’t respect ourselves we cannot expect it from others. Unreasonable expectations, pride or lack of humility, and blaming others can often lead to further discontent and deeper struggle. Who you blame is who you give your power and energy to. Being aware of our shortcomings, then owning our mistakes, and then step by step changing the behavior is the most powerful and most empowered place we can stand in every situation.

If we understand how to do this, then there is naturally more of a willingness of letting things go, and even letting them go wrong and being comfortable with that, because there will always be a way to reach a goal. We are never stuck. In this way, we reduce friction; the less friction the more energy and life force is available to us; the more we cultivate calm, and other virtues within us, the more efficiently we can find the way out.  

The Universe will always provide a way out, no matter how desperate a situation we find ourselves in. What really matters is whether or not we are willing to be truly kind and benevolent. When we enter this space in our hearts, the universe responds, and provides inspiration more efficiently for a way forward because we have aligned ourselves with the greatest source and power of Love. As a human being we are here on earth for the array of human experiences from sadness, struggle, growth, hope, happiness, and more. So we have a choice starting from this moment on. We can revolt against the reality of having to deal with failure, discomfort, pain and uncertainty, or we can wholeheartedly embrace every experience life offers and use it as a means to more deeply cultivate ourselves.

Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change. That’s just a part of the growth process. Each and every day we can choose the path that benefits both ourselves and others at the same time, and does not inflict harm or take from others. When we keep choosing that path, we cultivate confidence beyond measure, because we realize we are capable of doing it. We live from a space of being truly content, (rather than temporary or momentary satisfaction), and that leads us to a lasting happiness.

I have much to ponder and be grateful for this past year. The things we want in life take time, effort, devotion, practice, and cultivation. We may not have all the “ingredients” or objective pieces in place, but we can still create something beautiful with what we have. Sometimes it takes time to bring to fruition our deepest desires. We must seek with a broad open heart—without clinging to ideas, and to keep modifying our goals to find the right path. We can end up with something even more fulfilling and expansive than we could have imagined in the beginning. Perhaps it means not expecting the best to happen every step of the way, but instead accepting our situation with each step, and making the very best of it. Cheers to an ever expanding 2024! I look forward to
connecting soon ❤️

Love for the journey,
Anisha 

p.s. When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Bring your attention back to what’s important and move forward.

December 2022 | EVERYONE NEEDS KINDNESS

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." Dalai Lama

You create your happiness. It comes from within, from your choices, your actions and your beliefs.

Want to know what the best part of my day was? It wasn’t teaching my last yoga class of 2022 to a beautiful group of people and using all my skills and healing vibes to nourish their bodies & hearts—though that was definitely a close second. It was when I went to the UPS store this afternoon in the pouring rain and as I walked up to the door a girl, who couldn’t have been more than 11 years old, had a huge box in her hand and made the effort to run to the door to open it for me… I was so surprised and grateful and as soon as she walked in I said “would you like to go in front of me in line“? She said “sure!” and hopped right in front. We both smiled and my heart was so warm and content.

Perhaps the greatest present is to BE present, to be patient, to ask more questions, to be humble, kind, to listen and be open to learning. Wanting to make improvements begins in the mind and heart, with our desire and willingness…and then allowing our sincerity to drive that intention and see it through in our actions….let’s not just be good to each other, let’s be extraordinarily excellent and kind to each other this season. We can all use a little extra love and maybe someone smiling at us or being unexpectedly thoughtful can make our day, and make all the difference.

You don’t know what others are going through when they are irritating, unpleasant, or short-tempered.  It’s not about you. It almost never is, and that’s a good thing.  Negative interactions with others are unfortunately inevitable, but we do have power over how we respond to them.  Whether some guy cut you off in traffic or the waiter forgot your drink order, you never know what someone is going through until you walk in their shoes.  Before you shout obscenities from your car window or leave a bad tip, consider what they might have gone through today and the positive impact being caring towards them could make.

Have you ever had a day where it felt like no one would cut you a break? Maybe it was a couple of weeks or even a couple of months. When you’ve fallen on hard times, one small act of courtesy can make the world of difference. Taking the low road is a lot more work than you might think. When we dwell on others’ actions and choose anger, our minds are in turmoil far longer, and it can be exhausting. Your headspace and life force is precious, so don’t waste it on resentment. Goodness is in our nature. It is far easier to be nice than it is to stay angry.  Being nice to others sets an example for us to be better to ourselves. Once we grant compassion to ourselves, our growth potential is unlimited.  Practice this mindset by treating yourself and others well. We all have painful pasts, but it’s how you carry yourself through the world in the present that matters most. Are you bringing healing or harm?

We’ve all heard that kindness is contagious, but it’s more than that. One good act can cause a major ripple, changing the course of not just one person’s day, but many.

Goodness multiplies.

Reflecting on your year and setting personal growth development goals for the New Year can be so empowering and useful! Let me know how I can support you in that process.

I am delighted and proud to be working in a new space with other amazing women healers at Be Well Collective in Black Mountain. I'm also SUPER excited to be creating magical and dreamy retreats in the US & internationally in 2023! Hope you'll join me for one of my unique wellness retreats. I would love to know where & when you might like to travel with me! Help me decide where to lead my next RETREAT! If you're interested, I would appreciate your assistance by filling out the short survey below.

RETREAT SURVEY
 

Love for the journey,

Anisha