The Sweet Ache of Being Alive
When the sweet ache of being alive,
lodged between who you are
and who you will be,
is awakened,
befriend this moment.
It will guide you.
It's sweetness is what holds you.
It's ache is what moves you on.
- Mark Nepo
We are each born with ease and struggle, kindness and hardship, a gift and an emptiness. Our life can allow for a conversation with them, between them, to have one fill the other. It doesn't really matter where the emptiness is, where the challenges arise, or even what the gift is. The question we can ask ourselves is, "How do they meet? How do they complete each other, transform each other?"
We waste so much of our life trying to figure out the emptiness, blaming, being ashamed of it, or even feeling entitled that we shouldn't have it at all. All this does is distract and divert us from our soul's journey. What if we embraced the struggle or emptiness, softened into it, accepted it (without resignation), and instead made ourselves available to it with a sense of wonder and curiosity? Maybe even asking ourselves "How did I get here?". Blame keeps us stuck and hopeless, responsibility can be difficult but incredibly liberating; And once you make it a habit, the keys to your happiness are no longer in someone else's purse or pocket. This doesn't mean that past circumstances and horrendous, violent traumas haven't heavily influenced us, but how are we sustaining that trauma or horrendous experience? The past isn't here now, so how is it that I'm keeping it alive?
The ache is essential, and how we know we are close to what matters. The pull of the heart ignites our knowing that there is more to life then what's on the surface. When we chase a sense of self, comparing our lives with others, then life becomes a compensation for not really knowing ourselves or taking the time to do so. It's like a wound within us-- when we become disconnected from our essence, and we try to fill it with love, approval, success -- fulfillment outside of ourselves. When we pay attention to the deeper longing, the presence of the soul, and connect with others from that place, that is true intimacy. It invites the sweetness, real connection, which allows us to fall into Love, Beauty and Grace, with ourselves and with others. And all this depends on availability, how open we choose to be moment to precious moment, and how deep our longing actually is.
When our soul, which contains our life force, connects to another's, it's intriguing and interesting. We become mysteries encountering each other, beyond what we know. We as humans are starved for this type of intimacy, and crave the experience of being intimate with all of existence. When we think we know, we become blind to the mystery; we live in a reality of our own thoughts, ideas and beliefs, and become trapped in our minds.
Are you actually fully present to your real experience of life or are you trapped in your own mind?
"My barn, having burned to the ground, I can see more completely the moon."
- Mizuta Masahide (1657 - 1723), Japanese poet and Samurai
What is this miracle of life that each of us is allowed to behold and cultivate?
What do we do with our suffering?
How do we embrace the sweetness and the ache?
How do we awaken and lift up and out of our history?
How do we truly heal the physical body?
These are deep and rich topics with many layers, that aren’t always accessible or easily understood on our own. My teacher and role model, Master Ou Wen Wei is a world renowned Qi Gong Master and spiritual guide who has experienced unimaginable tempering and torment in order to learn, to be educated, and to help humanity gain deeper understanding of life’s value and what it means to live meaningfully in today’s world. We hope you will join us for a rare chance to hear his mystical encounters in person, and meet a true Master and Healer of Love. Learn a daily practice to help you be physically healthier and vibrant, but more importantly to cultivate your heart’s ability to open, to contain turbulence, and therefore much more love.
October 2019 | Mud of the Moment
It may be that
When we no longer
Know what to do
We have come to our real work.
And when we no
Longer know
Which way to go
We have begun our real journey.
-Anonymous
Yesterday, one of my clients was telling me about her time as a neonatal nurse and how she would communicate with the babies, soul to soul. She would whisper to them with such warmth and sweetness “you are ok, you’re not alone, I’m right here, you are ok.” My eyes swelled with tears. Her words touched a wound deep in my heart. I looked at her and said, “I wish someone would say that to me now, I would love to hear that now as an adult.” She responded with such richness of spirit “I can do that, I will tell you right now.....you are ok, you are not alone, I’m right here.” Tears now streamed, in gratitude, her words a balm over my heart. I feel lucky to have such a community. Even in some of my darkest, saddest moments, it’s enough to know there are others who get it and we all share in this human experience together. We hold each other, we lift each other up, we cry with each other and we laugh with each other.
The truth of our lives, lives in the mud and mess of this moment. It exists in the convoluted and complex interplay of emotion and relationship and in some of the personality traits I’d like to forever leave behind. To experience the truth of our own hearts, it often requires being in the muck and the mire of what’s here, the anxiety, the fear, the sadness, and yet also knowing the entirety of me without hiding from the shadows or from the light. To know and understand my shortcomings is my work but also not to underestimate my gifts and influence. Each time I can see myself clearly, outside of the emotion of the moment, or several moments, it offers an opportunity to expand the lens through which I see myself, my family, and the world.
Even if we can't see what's next, or how we will get there, it doesn't mean the answer isn't there. Sometimes it's ok just to not know. It's ok to sit in that familiar yet uncomfortable place of being lost. As limited as we may feel in a moment, the truth is that the infinite exists in everything, in all of creation. Just that knowing can open the door to possibilities; possibilities that are as infinite as you and me and the Universe.
"The lotus never blooms without sinking roots deep in mud.”
-Danna Faulds
Love for the journey,
Anisha
August 2019 | Eracism
Love and Respect for all...
This country is mourning. The epidemic we as a society are facing, at its root, is sincere malice and conscious animosity -- hatred at it’s core. We must continue to educate and reform ourselves and our children and help each other understand real love and respect. Change always begins with the self and our closest circles.
In 2007, I remember hearing about the monstrosities these children in Ghana experienced in their very own families, and neighborhoods; there was no place they felt safe or even loved, but they stayed, because it was home. People don’t leave their homes unless they need to stay alive.
This is a time when together, we must rise above this hatred. With a sword of righteousness, we must first find it within ourselves, with conviction, even within the tiny, hidden and seemingly small places, and then do our very best to reform. Then, and only then, can we extend true empathy, compassion, and equanimity to others who are lost, who need our help and love more than anything else.
“We should soundly reject language coming out of the mouths of any of our leaders that feeds a climate of fear and hatred or normalizes racist sentiments. Leaders who demonize those who don’t look like us, or suggest that other people, including immigrants, threaten our way of life, or refer to other people as sub-human, or imply that America belongs to just one certain type of people." -Obama
‘no one leaves home unlesshome is the mouth of a sharkyou only run for the borderwhen you see the whole city running as well
your neighbors running faster than youbreath bloody in their throatsthe boy you went to school withwho kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factoryis holding a gun bigger than his bodyyou only leave homewhen home won’t let you stay.
no one leaves home unless home chases youfire under feethot blood in your bellyit’s not something you ever thought of doinguntil the blade burnt threats intoyour neckand even then you carried the anthem underyour breathonly tearing up your passport in an airport toiletssobbing as each mouthful of papermade it clear that you wouldn’t be going back.
you have to understand,that no one puts their children in a boatunless the water is safer than the landno one burns their palmsunder trainsbeneath carriagesno one spends days and nights in the stomach of a truckfeeding on newspaper unless the miles traveledmeans something more than journey.no one crawls under fencesno one wants to be beatenpitiedno one chooses refugee campsor strip searches where yourbody is left achingor prison,because prison is saferthan a city of fireand one prison guardin the nightis better than a truckloadof men who look like your fatherno one could take itno one could stomach itno one skin would be tough enough
thego home blacksrefugeesdirty immigrantsasylum seekerssucking our country dryniggers with their hands outthey smell strangesavagemessed up their country and now they wantto mess ours uphow do the wordsthe dirty looksroll off your backsmaybe because the blow is softerthan a limb torn offor the words are more tenderthan fourteen men betweenyour legsor the insults are easierto swallowthan rubblethan bonethan your child bodyin pieces.i want to go home,but home is the mouth of a sharkhome is the barrel of the gunand no one would leave homeunless home chased you to the shoreunless home told youto quicken your legsleave your clothes behindcrawl through the desertwade through the oceansdrownsavebe hungerbegforget prideyour survival is more importantno one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your earsaying-leave,run away from me nowi dont know what i’ve becomebut i know that anywhereis safer than here’- Warsan Shire
I look forward to seeing you for a very special event centered around cultivating more LOVE and less hate. The Pangu Mystical Qi Gong Healing Weekend is coming up September 19-22! Master Ou Wen Wei will offer deep and rich teachings to continue guiding us through Universal Truths and Universal Love.
Love for the journey,
Anisha