October 2018 | Compassion for Our Stories

Sometimes writing a blog post is hard.  I want to say something meaningful and impactful.  I want to offer something that is worth taking the time to read, that reflects what's simmering in the public arena, and though my heart and intellect constantly churn ideas, capturing one to bring to you is sometimes like trying to catch the wind on paper.

I recently taught a Pangu Yoga class themed around compassion and forgiveness. It was not the easiest task to deliver. Because how do we define compassion? What IS compassion? And how does it apply to us, specifically, today?

I believe compassion arises when we truly realize we are all equal and that we are ALL suffering. Let’s start there. Perhaps it is a deep empathy accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering, and the ability to see clearly into the nature of the suffering; to stand strong and also to recognize that I am not separate from this suffering; that it and I are the same; that we all carry a piece of each other's suffering in this grand interconnected collective web of humanity.

Did you know that scientific research has shown that compassion creates neurological integration? It stimulates the motor cortex, integrating all centers of the brain. That, to me, is astounding. So it gives us the desire truly to want to transform suffering, and to engage in activities that will transform suffering. Being compassionate doesn’t mean we have to take on anything. In fact, the more we cultivate compassion the more resilient we become, with an ability to return to baseline much faster.

However, there is another component to compassion that is truly essential: that we cannot be attached to the outcome. Being attached to the outcome would distort deeply our own capacity to be fully present to the whole catastrophe or situation.

SO, if compassion is so good for us why aren't we teaching it to our children, or health care professionals? Why isn't it a part of our educational curriculum?

For many people, even though compassion is one of the inherent qualities of being human, those seeds of compassion have not yet been watered and nourished. We need particular conditions in order for  compassion to be activated. Our own suffering, our own hardships, are some of the conditions that ignite compassion, making us feel and say "yeah that happened to me, too, and I have your back", or "I deeply understand; how can I help or ease your pain?"  And that kind of cultural progress can't be taken away from this world, no matter what.

There are stories we can't tell because we feel wrong, we feel shame, we feel embarrassed and we can't even admit them to ourselves. There are huge powerful reasons why people can't share or tell. And as we start to share, what's hidden becomes revealed, and the love and compassion we feel from another begins to transform the suffering into strength, a willingness to stand strong and to do something to change the world.

Forgiveness then happens naturally. I believe it is a result of compassion. It isn’t something we do, it’s something that arises from the inner cultivation and work we’ve done. It's something that then becomes effortless and, in some cases, isn't even needed. Just like the trees in Autumn, as we heal from the scratches, bruises and storms, we stand taller and broader, covered by less.

Love for the journey,
Anisha

September 2018 | Quiet the Negative Voice

Have you ever had the thought, "If I expect the worst, I'll never be quite as disappointed" ?

Thinking negatively, expecting “the worst,” seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards thinking, an emotional insurance policy.  It happens subconsciously and it goes something like, “If I expect a catastrophe, then I won’t be quite as disappointed when it takes place and won't have to feel badly."

A beautiful scene, a piece of art or person might be right in front of you.  It’s sophisticated, artistic, perhaps the result of deep love and devotion.  The colors, patterns and characteristics are like no other—they shine brightly and leap towards you.  And yet, maybe you choose to fixate your eyes on the tiny, dark bug that has landed on the edge of this masterpiece, or the one thing that annoys you about this person.

Why?

People who are habitually negative thinkers are often proud to describe themselves as “realists.”
The “being realistic” pronouncement is a favorite among cynics everywhere.  And, in a way, they are correct.  But only because negative thinking causes the human mind to give up on everything—to not even try, or to give a disorganized, half hearted effort—so the negativity itself influences the end result.  In this way, self-fulfilling predictions like this really do happen. 

What makes all of this even more alarming is that negative thoughts can plague us even when life is going relatively well.  For instance, have you ever had the thought “This is much too good to last!”?

This can quickly wreak havoc on a positive situation. It’s as if there’s a special mental block filtering out all the positives and only letting in data that confirms the negative biases we have. 

To change our thinking, it helps to have a better understanding of what we’re thinking in the first place.  When a troubling (negative) thought arises in your mind, instead of ignoring it, pay closer attention and then record it.  For example, if you’re sitting at your desk and you catch yourself ruminating about something negative, pause and write it down immediately.  Get that raw thought out of your head and down on paper—just a short sentence or two that honestly depicts the specific thought that’s presently troubling you:

“I’m not good enough for the job I’m applying for because I don’t have enough experience.”

Then, identify what triggered the thought.  Again, be brief and specific:

“I’m new to the company, and therefore I’m feeling out of my comfort zone.”

At the very least, this process of evaluating negative thoughts and their underlying triggers helps bring a healthy, objective awareness to the sources of negativity or anxiety, which ultimately allows you to shift your mindset and take the next positive step forward. Encourage yourself to see all the in-between places of a situation. Thinking in extremes, as I have learned over and over, is a fast way to misery, because it basically views any situation that’s less than perfect as being extremely bad. Most of life occurs in a grey area-- between the extremes of bliss and total devastation. Traffic that has slowed down the commute back home from work can turn into “it wasted my whole evening and ruined the night!”

What if we could remind ourselves that we just need more practice. We have to find a happy medium of accepting ourselves as we are, and then committing to personal growth.  If I think I am absolutely “perfect” already, I will not make any positive efforts to grow.  But, constantly criticizing myself is just as counterproductive as doing nothing, because I will never be able to build new positive changes into my life when I am obsessively focused on my flaws.

What if we changed our internal conversation from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.”  The second statement is far more effective, because it actually prompts us to take positive action at any given moment while simultaneously accepting the reality that every effort may not be perfect.

So, do your very best to catch yourself today and quiet the negative voice. :)

Love for the journey,
Anisha

August 2018 | Loving or Judging?

In any given moment we can ask ourselves, "am I loving or judging?". Why? Becaise it can give us some insight in to what kind of energy we are putting out in to the world and where we are operating from. If we want positive outcomes we have to be willing to look inside and have awareness of which wolf we are feeding.

A Cherokee Legend
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – his is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and

inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed."

Have you ever met the kind of person who listens when you talk, who smiles often, and who says things that make the people around smile?  This person is incredibly intelligent, but in a way that makes others feel comfortable.  It’s the way they express themselves: in simple terms you can understand — almost like they have articulated the thoughts you already have in your head, but haven’t quite found the right words to say aloud.

And it doesn’t matter who you are, either.  This person always has a way of relating to you.  Because, in a way, this person has been there with you all along.  They can think like you, so they understand you.  It’s truly a special gift.  So many of us have limitations in our perceptions.  We understand the soldiers but not the politics governing the wars.  We understand the people who go to the movies but not the ones who attend rodeos.  But somehow, this person gets all of us.  It's their gift and one that is so admirable. And once you return home after spending a night with this person, you’ll catch yourself smiling and thinking about how there needs to be more people like that in the world.  Because if there were, there would be far less to worry about.

What if  you or I could be this special person for someone else? What if we could consciously and consistently feed the good wolf? Too often  people pass each other in a hurry without caring or thinking twice, or worse, judging them for not moving at a certain pace. What if we could pause or even stop more often, just to witness, listen with our whole body, and love? Because we forget, or perhaps never even learned, that every passing face has a story equally as captivating, complex and as worthy as our own. Each person has been through something that has forced them to struggle, adapt and grow, inadvertently changing them. They have fought hard, and continue to fight, just like us, and so their smiles, too, have been earned. The happiness and smiles we occasionally (and are lucky enough to) see is a beautiful thing. And even more beautiful is knowing that we are the reason behind it.

It is truly an experience to marvel and admire, teaching us more about love, witnessing and listening. If you have the power to make someone smile or be happier today, don't hold back. The world needs more of that. Take small chances on people, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest parts of our hearts.

Peace,
Anisha

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